Why Modern Relationships Are So Fragile
Studies on love and relationships, whether psychological, or sociological have been undergoing for centuries now, and yet, despite all that, it seems as if humanity is still clueless on the matters of the heart.
There has been a startling rise in separation and divorce rates over the past decade. So naturally some people wonder “why are modern relationships so fragile?”
Let’s try to find some answers.
1) You’re too guarded.
Do you let your head rule your heart most of the time? Do you talk yourself out of the things that you want and let fears keep you from being happy?
When people build too many walls around themselves, it becomes difficult to reach them. Being 100% clinically logical with matters of the heart may result in never truly falling in love.
Because sometimes, love is illogical and unexplainable, just like most emotions are, in the end, of irrational nature. Sometimes love means taking a leap of faith and opening yourself up to someone wholeheartedly.
You need to put aspects like time, distance, compatibility, or practicality on the back burner for a bit, and allow yourself the freedom to be with whomever you want, no matter the first impression problems or complications.
2) You’re confusing the need for interaction with the need for romantic love.
What is love really? Can you define it? Can you solidly list out things that will tell you 100% “yes this is love”?
This confusion is another reason why modern relationships have become so fragile. Maybe what you feel you need isn’t actually love, perhaps you are confusing it with a for excitement and companionship.
There is a different type of relationship for each set of needs you may have at the moment, and all too often we want to pin almost all our needs to our partner, something no one can ever measure up to, something that friends are more suitable for.
3) You’re not ready yet.
All too often, our relationship dissolves because you’re simply not ready to be in one yet.
Maybe your needs at the time are to keep things fun and casual, not in a state of serious commitment.
A strong healthy relationship is all about positive compromise, dedication, patience, and sacrifice, and many have lost sight of that.
The unrealistic standards set by mainstream entertainment and social media trains us to think that a perfect relationship should be one where we’re always happy with zero complexes, and we’re perfectly matched for our partners from the start. Understand that this is like believing in a heavily filtered Instagram photo. It’s not a real or full picture.
Soulmates are not found, they are made. Through work, communication and deep care, our partners become eventually “the one”.
4) You’re too dependent on technology.
Being too dependent on technology might be one of the key reasons why most modern relationships don’t last. Are you wondering if you rely on technology too much? Let’s do a little experiment.
Ask yourself how you’d feel for a full day without your phone. Seriously, from the moment you open your eyes, imagine your day step by step without your phone. Do you feel a little uneasy or that something is not right?
While technology may have brought us all closer together, it’s also keeping us apart. With the World Wide Web at your fingertips, you can be so caught up in your virtual life that you forget to live your real one.
Texts, chats, and voice calls have replaced physical quality time with the ones you love. When your whole life is already chronicled in an Instagram story or a Twitter thread, it can leave us with very little to talk about.
If you focus too much on your screen, you will never know what you might be missing out on the corner of your eyes.
5) You want something now, not tomorrow.
Ever heard something like “good things come to those who wait?” or the song “you can’t hurry love”?
There is a ring of truth there. A mature, healthy, strong relationship requires time to blossom, and room to grow. The problem is we live in an age of instant gratification and same-day shipping. We’re not used to or practiced in patience.
Many of us can relate to the guilty trait of wanting something but not wanting to put the time into it. We do the same with relationships.
We rush in, then rush out when we think we see something better, shinier, and more immediate. We’re suddenly treating relationships like a toy instead of a treasure.
6) You’re too busy to settle down.
Modern society values hard work and accomplishment, so people nowadays have become more competitive and ambitious than ever.
It feels good to be the best: in class, at work … being the most popular. To be the best, there is the drive to get into prestigious universities, be promoted to the corporate ladder or starting a business from scratch. With so many other priorities in your life, romantic relationships may simply not match in importance.
You are more willing to call ten different people, stay in your office late at night or spend hours in research to gain merit at your job, yet won’t do a sliver of that effort towards understanding an issue with your partner and fix it.
We are on a constant hustle mode, trying to build our careers alone more than our life as a whole.
As you can see, there are several reasons why modern-day relationships may be struggling to survive and thrive. And these are just a few of the most likely ones, we forget all too often to make time for love in our lives.
Relationships are now treated as nothing more than a casual convenience. Societal influences have molded us to want immediate gratification with as many different options as possible.
The truth is, love never comes easy and no great relationship happens overnight. Manage your expectations, discuss and work with your partner, spend more time on what’s truly important to you, and be grateful for all the people in your life who love you.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage” Lao Tzu
